This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila Sales

Title: This Song Will Save Your Life

Author: Leila Sales

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

Released: September 17th 2013

Pages: 288 (Paperback)

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All her life, Elise Dembowski has been an outsider. Starting a new school, she dreams of fitting in at last – but when her best attempts at popularity fail, she almost gives up. Then she stumbles upon a secret warehouse party. There, at night, Elise can be a different person, making real friends, falling in love for the first time, and finding her true passion – DJ’ing. 

But when her real and secret lives collide, she has to make a decision once and for all: just who is the real Elise?

I feel as if it'd be wrong to review this without sharing a bit of personal information. This novel hit me hard - it was as if Sales had crawled into the very depths of my brain and dug up my past, writing down a story that I just wish fourteen year old me could have read (it sure would have saved a lot of teen angst!) I'm a year older than main character Elise, but I still face many of the problems she conquers. I've never been a "popular" kid - heck, I stick out like a sore thumb, not just in looks but in personality, and that doesn't exactly endear anyone to you. I've never been without friends, but I get glares and snide comments made all the time from people who know nothing about me, and I just end up floundering around wondering what the heck I have done to deserve it. The truth that Sales reveals is that, as sad as it is, teenagers don't need a reason to dislike you; they just can, and they will. Sometimes this can push you to the breaking point - sometimes you wonder if suicide really is the only way out. In this novel, Sales shines a light onto the other pathway available to you; accepting yourself. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.

Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick

Title: Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
Author: Matthew Quick
Publisher: Little Brown Books
Released: August 1st 2013
Pages: 208 (eBook)
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In addition to the P-38, there are four gifts, one for each of my friends. I want to say good-bye to them properly. I want to give them each something to remember me by. To let them know I really cared about them and I'm sorry I couldn't be more than I was--that I couldn't stick around--and that what's going to happen today isn't their fault.

Today is Leonard Peacock's birthday. It is also the day he hides a gun in his backpack. Because today is the day he will kill his former best friend, and then himself, with his grandfather's P-38 pistol.

But first he must say good-bye to the four people who matter most to him: his Humphrey Bogart--obsessed next-door neighbor, Walt; his classmate Baback, a violin virtuoso; Lauren, the Christian homeschooler he has a crush on; and Herr Silverman, who teaches the high school's class on the Holocaust. Speaking to each in turn, Leonard slowly reveals his secrets as the hours tick by and the moment of truth approaches.
In this riveting book, acclaimed author Matthew Quick unflinchingly examines the impossible choices that must be made--and the light in us all that never goes out.

I read this book in four hours. Four. Hours. And those four hours were an emotional rollercoaster. Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock is one of my favourite ever reads, full stop. I liked Quick's other novel, The Silver Linings Playbook, but this is on a whole other level. I feel like I've been searching all my life for a book like this.

Forget Me Never by Gina Blaxill

Title: Forget Me Never
Author: Gina Blaxill
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
Released: September 27th 2012
Pages: 288 (Paperback)
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When Sophie's cousin Danielle dies after a fall from her balcony, the police dismiss her death as suicide. She had broken up with her boyfriend and had suffered from depression in the past. Sophie isn't so sure, however, and when she finds a memory stick in a pair of Dani's old jeans, some new photos and information come to light that point to something more sinister. Sophie and her friend Reece investigate further and soon find out that Dani was involved with something very dark and very dangerous. As Sophie and Reece become more and more deeply involved they put themselves in huge danger too, accessing secret data, facing kidnap attempts and worse. And as they uncover the terrible truth about what really happened to Dani, Sophie and Reece must also face their feelings for each other...

The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time by Mark Haddon

Title: The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time
Author: Mark Haddon
Publisher: Random House
Released: July 31st 2003
Pages: 272 (Hardback)
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The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time is a murder mystery novel like no other. The detective, and narrator, is Christopher Boone. Christopher is fifteen and has Asperger's Syndrome. He knows a very great deal about maths and very little about human beings. He loves lists, patterns and the truth. He hates the colours yellow and brown and being touched. He has never gone further than the end of the road on his own, but when he finds a neighbour's dog murdered he sets out on a terrifying journey which will turn his whole world upside down.

All of Me by Kim Noble

Title: All of Me
Author: Kim Noble
Publisher: Piatkus
Released: October 6th 2011
Pages: 369 (Paperback)
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When Kim Noble was younger than five years old, her personality splintered and fractured. She was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), which causes unbearable pain.

Now her body plays host to more than 20 different personalities, or 'alters'. There are women and men, adults and children; there is a scared little boy who speaks only Latin, an elective mute, a gay man and an anorexic teenager.

All Of Me tells of Kim’s terrifying battles to understand her own mind, of her desperate struggle against all odds to win back her 13-year-old daughter, and of her courage in trying to make sense of her life. It is by turns shocking, inspiring, sometimes funny, and deeply moving.

The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick

Title: The Silver Linings Playbook
Author: Matthew Quick
Publisher: Sarah Critchton Books
Released: September 2nd 2008
Pages: 289 (Movie tie-in paperback)
Buy: Amazon UK / Amazon US

Pat Peoples has a theory that his life is actually a movie produced by God, and that his God-given mission in life is to become emotionally literate, whereupon God will ensure a happy ending - which, for Pat, means the return of his estranged wife Nikki, from whom he's currently having some 'apart time.' It might not come as any surprise to learn that Pat has spent several years in a mental health facility. When Pat leaves hospital and goes to live with his parents, however, everything seems changed: no one will talk to him about Nikki; his old friends now have families; his beloved football team keep losing; his new therapist seems to be recommending adultery as a form of therapy. And he's being haunted by Kenny G. There is a silver lining, however, in the form of tragically widowed, physically fit and clinically depressed Tiffany, who offers to act as a go-between for Pat and his wife, if Pat will just agree to perform in this year's Dance Away Depression competition...

Batman: Arkham Asylum by Grant Morrison and Dave McKean

Title: Batman: Arkham Asylum

Author: Grant Morrison

Illustrator: Dave McKean

Publisher: DC Comics

Released: October 28th 1989

Pages: 216 (Paperback, 15th Anniversary Edition)

Buy: Amazon UK / Amazon US

In this painted graphic novel, the inmates of Arkham Asylum have taken over Gotham's mental illness detention center on April Fool's Day and demand Batman in exchange for their prisoners. Accepting their demented challenge, Batman is forced to live and endure the personal hells of the Joker, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Two Face and many other of his sworn enemies in order to save the innocents and retake the prison. During his run through this absurd gauntlet, the Darknight Detective's own sanity is in jeopardy.

Pushing the Limits by Katie McGarry

Title: Pushing the Limits
Author: Katie McGarry
Publisher: MIRA Ink
Released: July 31st 2012
Pages: 397 (Kindle)
Buy: Amazon UK / Amazon US

No one knows what happened the night Echo Emerson went from popular girl with jock boyfriend to gossiped-about outsider with "freaky" scars on her arms. Even Echo can't remember the whole truth of that horrible night. All she knows is that she wants everything to go back to normal.But when Noah Hutchins, the smoking-hot, girl-using loner in the black leather jacket, explodes into her life with his tough attitude and surprising understanding, Echo's world shifts in ways she could never have imagined. They should have nothing in common. And with the secrets they both keep, being together is pretty much impossible.

Yet the crazy attraction between them refuses to go away. And Echo has to ask herself just how far they can push the limits and what she'll risk for the one guy who might teach her how to love again.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Title: The Bell Jar
Author: Sylvia Plath
Publisher: Faber and Faber
Released: 1963
Pages: 234 (Paperback)
Buy: Amazon

Esther Greenwood is at college and is fighting two battles, one against her own desire for perfection in all things - grades, boyfriend, looks, career - and the other against remorseless mental illness. As her depression deepens she finds herself encased in it, bell-jarred away from the rest of the world. This is the story of her journey back into reality. 

About this time last year, I read Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen, possibly one of my all-time favourite books. After I'd finished, a lot of people recommended that I read The Bell Jar, saying that if I loved Girl Interrupted, The Bell Jar would blow my socks off. And blow them off it did, indeed.

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

“Dead girl walking,” the boys say in the halls.
“Tell us your secret,” the girls whisper, one toilet to another.
I am that girl.
I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through.
I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame.

Lia and Cassie were best friends, wintergirls frozen in matchstick bodies. But now Cassie is dead. Lia's mother is busy saving other people's lives. Her father is away on business. Her step-mother is clueless. And the voice inside Lia's head keeps telling her to remain in control, stay strong, lose more, weigh less. If she keeps on going this way—thin, thinner, thinnest—maybe she'll disappear altogether.


I was looking around Goodreads, and loads of people gave this review 5 stars - but then some gave it 1? I don't understand how! This is probably one of the better books I have read about triggering topics, and as a book on my copy rightly said "As difficult as reading this novel can be, it is more difficult to put it down".

This novel is based around two best friends, one who has anorexia and one who has bulimia. Those are probably minor spoilers, but it's pretty obvious from the start. Anyway, the one who has bulimia dies, and it is just about the main character, Lia, and how she deals with her best friend dying and her anorexia. To add another factor to it, she has already been admitted to hospital twice because of it, so her parents are watching her like hawks - which is good because they make her eat, but it does keep a slight edge to the whole book, and you're constantly thinking, have they noticed yet? How have they not noticed yet? Although as the reader you want Lia to get better, you also take on some of the emotions she is feeling, and I felt that even though I haven't got an eating disorder, I could relate to her, and I think a lot of people will be able to.

One of the things that I think really makes this novel great is Anderson. She doesn't write as if she's gone on Wikipedia and searched up the disorder - she writes as if she was a cutter. I'm not suggesting she ever has been, but the way she wrote it was if she'd felt those feelings before, or something of the like; it felt genuine, and I think that helped the reader to connect with the story more.

The only thing I didn't like was the ending. I understood most parts of the novel, but the ending really confused me. I know that she was in the motel and she was becoming more delirious, but it just...I don't really want to say anymore for those of you who haven't read it and think you might want to. But one thing I can say: the last time we see Elijah is so disappointing. I didn't find much of a point to his character.

But apart from that, I really enjoyed it. It was hard to read at times, but I think that was because of how well-written it was - it was a believable, and it does make you think about all the different boys and girls out there who are suffering, just like Lia. If that applies to you, then please remember that you're beautiful no matter what size or shape you are, and that there will always be someone there for you, even if it doesn't seem like there is. This novel is a must-read - I have never read another quite like it.
Rating: 5/5

It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

Like many smart, ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner seeks entry into Manhattans most prestigious school, Executive Pre-Professional High School. With single-minded determination, he works night and day to ace the entrance exam and gets in. Thats when everything starts to unravel. Once Craig starts his new school, he realizes hes just one of many brilliant kids, and he isnt even brilliant, hes average. As Craig starts getting so-so grades, he sees his once-perfect future crumbling away. He begins to have trouble eating, sleeping, and thinkingthats when he tells his parents hes depressed. He goes on medication and talks to therapists, but things keep getting worse, until one night Craig feels so low that he seriously considers suicide.But instead, Craig calls a hotline. The counselor tells him to get to the nearest hospital, and before he knows it, hes signed, sealed, and delivered into one of Brooklyns finest psychiatric units.Craigs new roommate is an Egyptian schoolteacher who refuses to get out of bed. His neighbors include a transsexual sex addict, and a girl who has scarred her own face with scissors.But somehow in this motley crew, Craig finds real friends and kindred spirits who give him strength. This is a remarkably moving and authentic picture of the physicality, the despair, and even the hilarity, of depression.

 I'm still quite surprised that I hadn't heard of this novel until a few months ago, because it seemed pretty much like my ideal kind of book. And it most definitely was. I found it utterly amazing that he managed to write the whole book in roughly two weeks - it takes most authors months, even years, to finish a book! And how he managed to write so quickly whilst keeping it at an excellent quality is pretty impressive (and that's still putting it lightly!)

Anyway; the novel is basically about your typical teenage boy developing depression, and going into a downwards spiral until he wants to kill himself. But instead, he checked himself into a mental hospital, and a bit of it is about his time there and how it affects him. And I really did love it. I think there was something about the fact that there wasn't any overly-fancy language; it was straight to the point, and that really helped to keep the reader engaged, because you didn't have to grab a dictionary at every other word: it was explained.

I also loved how Vizzini had developed the characters. Sure, you don't understand all of them and their illnesses, but they're still loveable, and by the end I felt quite attached to a few of them and weirdly protective. There are loads of people out there exactly the same as the people in this novel, but usually it is hard to convey the reality of it all with a few words. But Vizzini did that, and I found myself relating to a lot of them and their situations, as well as sympathising with them.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom. One of the more surprising aspects of it was how funny it was - how at the end, I didn't feel depressed myself, but was actually smiling and felt good. It's a book about depression that is not that depressing, yet still gets across the serious issues. And that is a talent if I ever saw one. If you like books like Girl Interrupted, or The Bell Jar, this is definitely the novel for you, and I know that once you pick it up, you will be hooked!
Rating:5/5

The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

This is the story of what it’s like to grow up in high school. More intimate than a diary, Charlie's letters are singular and unique, hilarious and devastating. We may not know where he lives. We may not know to whom he is writing. All we know is the world he shares. Caught between trying to live his life and trying to run from it puts him on a strange course through uncharted territory. The world of first dates and mixed tapes, family dramas and new friends. The world of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, when all one requires is that perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite. Through Charlie, Stephen Chbosky has created a deeply affecting coming-of-age story, a powerful novel that will spirit you back to those wild and poignant roller coaster days known as growing up.
So two of my really good friends suggested this book to me, and considering that they both having amazing tastes in books, I thought, why not? And I'm so glad they suggested it to me, because I absolutely loved it.

At first, I wasn't too keen on how the book would be set - that it was told through letters, where the main character, Charlie, was not actually called Charlie. So I felt that I wouldn't be able to get close to any of the characters, because although it was their story, it wasn't their names - but my misgivings were false. I got attached to practically all of the characters - especially Charlie, Sam and Patrick. The way Chbosky presented each of them was brilliant - because they were so individually different, yet they were all together; Charlie was naive and insightful; Sam was outgoing and reckless; Patrick was caring and loving. And I couldn't help but wish they were all real - as if this doesn't happen ever time I read a book. But I think what made this different from a lot of other books was how realistic Chbosky made the characters and the storyline. No one was unrealistic - you can just imagine there being someone exactly like Charlie, or Sam, or Patrick, or Bob, or Mary Elizabeth is out there. Which just makes it so much more readable - and rereadable.

Another really great thing about this novel is how simple it is. Yes, it is insightful, and it does talk about a lot of powerful and contraversial issues  - but it's just told in such an easy and laid-back way that it isn't too heavy-going, yet it gets the point across. And admittedly, because certain bits weren't told in such a blunt, to-the-point way, it did take me a while to fully understand what was happening - but I got it after a while, and as you read on, you just become in-tune with the novel.

Even though I loved it, I know this book isn't for everyone. If you love authors like John Green, David Levithan and Julie Anne Peters, I reckon you'll really enjoy this novel, so I emplore you to try it! You won't regret it - hopefully.
Rating:5/5

Willow by Julia Hoban

Seven months ago, on a rainy March night, sixteen year- old Willow's parents died in a horrible car accident. Willow was driving. Now her older brother barely speaks to her, her new classmates know her as the killer orphan girl, and Willow is blocking the pain by secretly cutting herself. But when one boy - one sensitive, soulful boy - discovers Willow's secret, it sparks an intense relationship that turns the "safe" world Willow has created for herself upside down.

 I've had this book on my shelf for ages, so when I finally picked it up I was a bit reserved at first - but after a while, I was completely hooked! Hoban writes the book in the present tense, which is a bit confusing to begin with, but I think it was a effective because it makes the reader feel that they are going through the story along with Willow. And actually, I really enjoyed it. I loved both of the main characters, and found I could relate to each of them equally - which I think everyone can. Willow represents fears and the bad light that people can see themselves in - and Guy represents things getting better. I think the book isn't just about death, love and self-harm - I think it's about the fact that although you can't change the past, you can improve things for the future. And even though it does appear to be quite a depressive book at first, towards the end it is actually quite happy, and you're left feeling quite satisfied with the overall ending. I would have liked a bit more interaction to go on between Guy and Willow, as well as with Willow and Markie. But apart from that, I thoroughly enjoyed this, and recommend it to anyone who likes real-life stories that aren't sugarcoated.
Rating:4/5

Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen

In 1967, after a session with a psychiatrist she'd never seen before, eighteen-year-old Susanna Kaysen was put in a taxi and sent to McLean Hospital to be treated for depression. She spent most of the next two years on the ward for teenage girls in a psychiatric hospital renowned for its famous clientele - Sylvia Plath, Robert Lowell, James Taylor, Anne Sexton and Ray Charles.

I got requested to read this book by my friend Amber - a different Amber from the one who asked me to read Fable: The Balverine Order. And since me and her have such an alike taste in books, I knew that pretty much from the start, I was going to fall in love with it. And fall in love with it, I did. The book is basically a memoire of Kaysen's late teenage years, where she was put into a psychiatric hospital for a personality disorder. (It was really strange when I found this out, because earlier this week I started planning to write a story for my English assessment where the main character has a personality disorder - coincidence, much?) Even though it was years since the events that Kaysen published this book, you can still feel the powerful raw emotion the patients in the ward felt - and even though they were typically 'crazy', a lot of what she talked about I could relate to, and I found myself growing incredibly fond of not only Kaysen, but of Georgina, Lisa, Torrey, Polly, Alice - and even Daisy. It says on the back of the book: "Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy", and I swear this is going to become my new life motto, because it is absolutely true. And at the end of the day, she got better, and had a lot more knowledge from that experience than a lot of people can get in a lifetime - and through reading this book, I feel like I have obtained just a little bit of that knowledge, and I am entirely grateful for it. I read it in less than a day, and will surely read it again sometime - but for now, I'm going to keep my eye out for any other novels she may have written.
Rating: 5/5

A Voice in the Distance by Tabitha Suzuma

In his final year at the Royal College of Music, star pianist Flynn Laukonen has the world at his feet. He has moved in with his girlfriend Jennah and is already getting concert bookings for what promises to be a glittering career. Yet he knows he is skating on thin ice - only two small pills a day keep him from plunging back into the whirlpool of manic depression that once threatened to destroy him. Unexpectedly his friends seem to be getting annoyed with him for no apparent reason, he needs less and less sleep, he is filled with unbridled energy. Events begin to spiral out of control and Flynn suddenly finds himself in hospital, heavily sedated, carnage left behind him. The medication isn't working any more, the dose needs to be increased, and depression strikes again, this time with horrific consequences. His freedom is snatched away and the medicine's side-effects threaten to jeopardize his chances in one of the biggest piano competitions of his life. It seems like he has to make a choice between the medication and his career. But in all this he has forgotten the one person he would give his life for, and Flynn suddenly finds himself facing the biggest sacrifice of all.

A Voice in the Distance is the sequel to Tabitha Suzuma's other novel, A Note of Madness. Again, it is based around pianist Flynn, and his struggle to cope with bipolar. As an addition to the previous book, the tale is now told in two POV's - Flynn's and his girlfriend, Jennah's. That is probably one of the things I best loved about this book - you not only saw how the mental illness affected Flynn, but also the loved ones around him. I honestly think that this book is better than its prequel, but prehaps that is because I was more emotionally attatched to the last one, and found it uncomfortable to face up to some home truths? All the way throughout the story, Suzuma manages to keep it realistic, making sure that it isn't sugarcoated - it is just the raw truth. She captures the relationship between Jennah and Flynn amazingly, and at the end I could feel tears in my eyes. Although I wish the ending had been different, I know that what happened had to happen - but I want to read more. I really hope that Suzuma continues this tale and extends it into a triology so that I can see what happens to the pair - and their family and friends - next. I really enjoyed these two books, and I want to read the last of Suzuma's five novels soon.
Rating:4/5

A Note of Mandess by Tabitha Suzuma

Life as a student is good for Flynn. As one of the top pianists at the Royal College of Music, he has been put forward for an important concert, the opportunity of a lifetime. But beneath the surface, things are changing. On a good day, he feels full of energy and life, but on a bad day being alive is worse than being dead. Sometimes he wants to compose and practise all night, at other times he can't get out of bed. His flatmate Harry tries to understand but is increasingly confused by Flynn's erratic mood swings. His friend Jennah tries to help, but Flynn finds it difficult to be around her as he struggles to control his feelings and behaviour. With the pressure of the forthcoming concert and the growing concern of his family and friends, emotions come to a head. Sometimes things can only get worse before they get better.



Usually when I go to write my review, I have an idea of what I am going to rate it. But not with this book. Suzuma is definately one of my favourite authors, and what I mostly love about her books is that she somehow manages to really capture the essence of what its like to be a teenager in these complicated situations, and I honestly felt myself cringing at parts of this book because I could relate so much to them. I guess that's really what makes me want to rate it a 9 - not because I didn't think it was excellent, but because the emotions shown were so raw and so real that it literally made me want to put the book down and turn away, or skip to the next chapter. But apart from that, I really enjoyed it. Compared to her others books, it wasn't as good, but I think thats what happens when you are dealing with topics that don't usually get written about. Throughout the story, Flynn's emotions become more clear and more raw, and I didn't know whether I wanted to hug him or slap him at some parts. Because on one hand, his bipolar is horrible for him, and you just want him to be okay again - but then he can just be a prick to Harry, Rami and Jennah, which is partly his bipolars fault, but he doesn't make things any easier for himself. However, its hard not to love Flynn all the same. All in all, I really enjoyed the book, and I am currently reading the sequel to this, A Voice In The Distance. I hope it will live up to the standards this book has set.
Rating:4/5

Entangled by Cat Clarke

The same questions whirl round and round in my head. What does he want from me? How could I have let this happen? AM I GOING TO DIE? Seventeen-year-old Grace wakes up in a white room, with a table, pens and paper - and no clue how she got there.

As Grace pours her tangled life onto the page, she is forced to remember everything she's tried to forget. There's falling hopelessly in love with the gorgeous Nat, and the unravelling of her relationship with her best friend Sal. But there's something missing.

Grace must face the most important question of all. Why is she here?

I have to admit that the book was far more depressing than the blurb gave away. It hits on some very pressing and sensative topics - self-harm, depression, sex, suicide and more. As I first started reading it, I thought that the characters were a bit confusing and twisted - especially the narrorator and the main character, Grace, who is a bit like marmite: you either love her or hate her. But, as I read on, the story became clearer and my doubts about the characters and the storyline passed. Once you finish the novel, you are left with a sense of satisfaction and understanding. In this book, Clarke has really captured the speech and thoughts of an average teenage girl, and there are many situations in the book that other teenagers can associate and identify with. The novel will really get you thinking about yourself, the people around you, and the world in general.

Rating:4/5